12. The Words I Meant to Say
Sammy Copley

I am quick to anger
I am bitter, I am cruel
Insofar as to expect that you'll respect my silent rules

I am slow to answer
And I haven't got a clue
How you could look at me the way I look at you

"Use your words," she said
And so I tried, but as I spoke
The meaning tangled in my throat
There's a special kind of loneliness reserved for the ones who'll never know
The kind of hurt that helps you grow
She took my hand and pulled me close

I can't justify my righteousness,
Yet wear it on my sleeve
And with every word I worry that you'll think less of me

I can't satisfy my longing
To be safe or to be free
So I choose neither and just hope one comes to me (to me)

"Use your words," she said
And so I tried, but as I spoke
The meaning tangled and I choked
I'm inclined to call it loneliness
Despite being lit up by the gloam
We build our walls and call it home
I understand that hand-in-hand
With happiness comes hurt
And one without the other could never, ever work
And it's hard to find that silver line
When you don't know your worth (mmm, mmm)

"Use your words," she said
And so I tried, but as I spoke
The meaning tangled and I choked
There will always be a loneliness residing in my bones
It's a part of me, I know
She took my hand and led me home